So I was enlightened a little bit the other morning -
we had the kind of morning where things were not going according to schedule, and it ended up with Tim heading off to school with no belt (a dress code violation for which he received three days of no recess - dumb if you ask me), a very wrinkled, just out of the dryer oxford shirt and wet, unbrushed hair. He may or may not have brushed his teeth - i forgot to check!
after i got him dropped off, i came back to realize that it was picture day!
so I quickly brushed my own teeth, changed out of my p.j's and headed back to school, armed with a brush and hair gel - could never find the belt - we have since bought two more so that we can avoid ''ridiculous recess restriction'' in the future
As I was heading into the school, a little girl was also running in - she was probably about 7 years old. Cute as a button too! She got about half way to the door and realized that she was going to be tardy.
She stopped dead in her tracks and went into full panic mode. She had clearly never been tardy before.
As she walked back to her mom's car for advice, her mother starts SCREAMING at her to go inside. She continued screaming at the top of her lungs - cussing at her, calling her stupid, etc.
I was outraged - I am SO not confrontational, but I couldn't let it go.
I walked over and asked her to stop yelling at her kid - when she ignored me (or didn't hear me over her own screeching voice) I matched her tone and insisted that she get a hold of herself and treat her child with a little more respect.
I then helped the cutie inside, and trying to ignore her tears, in my most cheery voice, assured her that it was going to be ok - i just knew it! After she left the office with her tardy slip, I reported the incident to the office ladies. They were completely unaffected. Just acted like I was upset about the sky being blue!
I was kind of perplexed - I went home thinking about that girl and how her mom made her feel - what a terrible woman she is.
Then I realized that I am that mother.
I don't curse at Tim, but I do lose my patience. Especially in the mornings. I tried to remember if I had yelled at him to find his belt, or brush his hair, or put on an ironed shirt that very morning. Sad thing is - I can't remember - probably because my impatience with him is routine.
How can I look into these big beautiful eyes and make him feel however he must feel when I am yelling at him. I certainly don't like to be talked to in an ugly way - It makes me feel little.
I am going to try to remember that mean mom and myself, and our scary similarities everyday - every moment.
Tim is a good boy, a perfect person and he deserves my love and respect always. My mom NEVER yelled at me. Ever. That stands out to me when I think of her. I want that memory for Tim.
on a side note - this is his gross, cool blood blister. it's on his shin. notice his hairy little legs. these will be "man" legs before i know it!
he is growing up - his life is moving fast and i need to make sure to love everyday with him - no matter how much patience it takes.
3 comments:
oh jenni. I'm so glad you tried to do something. I DO NOT understand parents who act that way. Don't they realize that they only get a few precious years with their child before that child grows up, and doesn't want their full time attention anymore? I've had experience w/the front office ladies at Claybon. Unimpressive is all I'll say. (mary went to school there for a few weeks last year during the hurricane). Maybe it's different ladies now, but I doubt it....
I am so impatient in the mornings. the last week or so Chandler has managed to cause he and Kennedy to nearly be late every day. One day, they probably were late-I forgot to ask-because I dropped them off at exactly 8:00 which meant they would not get to class until about 8:02 which meant their teachers probably sent them back to the office for tardy slips. Okay, why am I rambling like this?! Anyway, I always kick myself for being so impatient. I have to send them out into that big, scary world every single day and I would never want to ruin their day by my impatience. I can't believe parents that curse at their kids and scream like that. Don't they know how insecure their little ones feel when their own parents belittle them like that? UGH! I'm so glad you said something to that mean mom!
I too, can't ever recall my mom ever raising her voice with any of her kids. I try to keep things cool. I blow once in a while. ANd my kids say that is so not me. I dont like how I feel when I get angry. If and when it's happened I feel terrible.
YOur a good mom and so sweet to help that little girl. Maybe because of you she will be a different mom. Jenny- your blog is so fun and real. I love keeping in touch with you!
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